400 days down, 12 to go

Four hundred days ago, I started this journey. Four hundred.

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Can you believe it? When I think about it, it seems to have flown by fast and I try to hold onto each of these twelve remaining days. But at the same time, I look at all that has happened. Four hundred days.

Right now, I’m in taper mode. Low volume of training and high volume of resting. That isn’t to say I’m not swimming, riding or running, just not the heavy amounts of it. Apparently, that’s what you have to do twelve days out from the race. With time at home, not training, I’ve allowed my self to wax philosophical about the last four hundred days and some nagging thoughts about what’s in store:

  • I’m not sure I’ve ever been as dedicated to anything (besides Laura) for four hundred days. Laura often refers to my undiagnosed ADD and my love of dreaming big and not following through, yet here I am four hundred days into this Ironman journey still as equally committed. 
  • I wonder what aspect of the pursuit made me commit. Was it signing up? I doubt it, I’ve undertrained for many races before. Was it my love of swimming, biking, running? Probably in part, but as you’ll see in a future blog post, my love of biking is solid, running – not so much. How do I replicate whatever it was that made me commit to other goals I have?
  • Was telling people and having this blog a good thing? I recognize that my updates have been few and far between but I have thought about writing here often throughout the last four hundred days, my commitment just wasn’t as full. Coach Pinkney said in a comment on a post that it might have been genius of me to broadcast the goal. Though I doubt the genius moniker, I often think it has helped. It has allowed me to see the tremendous support I have and the web of people who want to see me succeed. But it also leaves me stressed out that my failure (if that were to happen) would be epic and public. On one hand, “if you’re going to fail, fail big.” On the other hand, I sure will be embarrassed.
  • Although I’ve lost weight, I haven’t noticed a dramatic change in my body. This is all vanity, but man, I sure thought I’d be ripped after four hundred days of heavy training.
  • The time commitment has been huge, no doubt about it. However, even bigger is the energy commitment. I haven’t been able to put the same energy as normal towards my job, my friends or my wife. I’ve never been as exhausted as I was while in the heaviest parts of training.
  • The mixture of excitement/fear/nerves/confidence is unparalleled in my life. I can go from being giddy excited for the race to petrified and sure I’m not ready. It’s a weird feeling to work through.

Well, with twelve days to go, what I can do to improve my chances are mostly mental and nutritional, and so I rest.